Max: Mooooommmmmmyyyyy! Astrid poked me in the eye, really hard!

Me: I just saw it happen. She was stretching, and barely brushed your cheek.

Max: *both hands clutching eye, pretend sobbing* No, she didn’t!! She poked her finger into my eye, and it really really hurts!!! She almost poked it right out!

Me: Oh, my goodness, you’re right! I see it now! All the blood on the floor! Max, your eye is dangling out of your head!

Max: *sobbing ceases* No, it’s not.

Me: You’re right, it’s not. You’re fine.

Renovation Update


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So, it’s taken KraftMaid Cabinetry over one month to give us an estimate that our “expedited” replacement cabinetry order has an expected delivery date between the 3rd and 4th week of August. That’s twice as long as how long it took to produce our first set of cabinets. Had we known from the beginning, we could have set up some of the damaged cabinets temporarily and moved in sooner. Like, two months sooner.

All I have to say is that they had better be FLAWLESS.



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Me: I really need a shower. I hate to ask this, but, would you mind finding my pajamas and underwear for me, please?

Eric: Sure, where did you pack them?

Me: Uhhh… YOU packed them.

Eric: Really?

Me: Yeah, you said you’d take care of everything in the bedroom while I went out to situate the cat and move things over to the hotel. When I came back, all my things in the closet were gone.

Eric: Oh.

Me: You don’t even know where it is, do you?

Eric: I’ll go digging around the apartment for your pajamas, then!

Me: FFS!

Eric: So, do you have anything to wear tomorrow?

Me: *blank stare* I’m never putting you in charge of packing again.

Eric: Oooookay, then, I’ll be looking for your clothes, too!

Me: I actually went out of my way to put a sweater and some other things ON TOP of your suitcase, so you’d remember to pack them, and you mean to tell me that you just packed your own things and put my stuff somewhere else?

Eric: Ummm…I brought bath salts from China, why don’t you take a bath?

Me: Like anyone gives me time to take a bath?

Eric: I would! I mean, you may as well, you have nothing to wear.


Counting Tile

Really, Lowe’s manager? You’re going to argue with me about when I placed this order and when I was told it would be ready?

What’s my renovation without another snag? I went to Lowe’s Home Improvement on the Upper West Side over a month ago, asking about some tile availability (City stores are small, suburban folks, so this is an absolute necessity). I calculated that I needed about 21 boxes of a particular tile, and asked one of the department workers there if I needed to start ordering in advance, or if this tile is something they regularly keep a lot of stock of…
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