Camp counselor: Astrid, remind me, when did you turn three?
Astrid: I turned three on my birthday.
Max: Ooo! Corn!
Astrid: No, no, Max, it my corn.
Max: Can I have some?
Astrid: No, it really really spicy, so it yucky for you, Max. *Munch munch*
Max: Hey, I thought you said it was yucky!
Astrid: I said it yucky for YOU. I like spicy things. *Munch munch*
Max: I don’t know what to draw!
Me: Draw something you know. Draw a person.
Max: I don’t know how to do that. I’ve never done that before.
Me: Well, there’s a head, and a body, and two arms, and two legs.
Max: that’s too hard!
Me: Okay, let’s make it simpler. Draw a head. A head had two eyes, two ears, a node, and a mouth. You can look in the mirror if you need help figuring out where they go.
Max: Fiiiiiinnnnnne! *sigh* Mommy, I’m not good at this like you. This is the best I can do!
OMG, seriously? The first time??? *facepalm*
Max: There’s a green thing in my food.
Me: It’s a pea. And that other stuff is cheese.
Max: I don’t like peas.
Me: It’s one pea, Max. You can handle it.
Max: Why is it there?
Me: Because peas are yummy, and you’re the only one who doesn’t eat them. I guess I missed a few.
Max: It was an accident?
Me: Yes, Max.
Max: YOU ACCIDENTALLY PEA-ED IN MY CHEESE!!!
Max: Can we play with water balloons now?
Me: Sure! But you have to ask yourself: are you ready for water balloons? I can get you really good.
Max: Yeah, I can handle water balloons. Just don’t hit me in the nose.
Me: I wasn’t planning on it…
Max: Yeah, because if you hit me in the nose, it will get wet, and then my boogers will get wet, and when my boogers get wet, they turn into running boogers and they run all over the place!
Running. Boogers. I’m dying.