Pesto. It’s green, so it’s both a sauce AND a vegetable, right?
Laine: Hey, I just made up another song! Here it is! *Sings* What do you think?
Cadence: I like it!
Me: That’s actually pretty catchy.
Laine: I think it should be a rap song, and that’s the singing part. Yeah, we need to make it a rap song. Who’s the best rapper here?
Laine: Yeah, definitely Mommy. Mommy totally needs to rap in the video.
Me: Wait, what???
These are the bizarro days of our lives…
Astrid is sitting on the steps of a nearby stoop, doing this, and I obviously had questions.
Me: Whatcha doing?
Astrid: I drinking!
Me: Oh! *Sigh of relief* What are you drinking?
Astrid: I drinking COFFEE!!!
Me: Coffee? Oh…ummm, okay, coffee’s good.
Astrid: And scotch.
In a crowded subway car…
Max: *shouting* MOMMY! WHEN I…
Me: Shhh! Max, we’re inside, you don’t need to speak so loudly.
Max: *shouting* MOMMY!!
Me: Still too loud…
Max: *shouting* MOMMY!
Me: Quiet down, please.
Max: *whispers* Mommy?
Me: Yes, Max?
Max: *shouting* WHEN I WAS A BABY, I ATE YOUR BOOBS!!!!!!